My daughter and I both obliged by going to the main service, but chose to skip Sunday School. Instead we took advantage of the beautiful, sunny, February morning and went on a nice drive down to the end of the old country road, to the local state park, so I could show her the place her grandparents were married. As we drove I shared stories of my childhood, and showed her the places I played as a kid. I showed her where my grandfather's air strip used to be, and spoke to her of my memories of his many planes and how I loved flying with him. We pointed out beautiful areas of land and soaked in the morning sun. To me, this is part of my own version of 'religion' - SHARING.
I have always been one of the few 'rebels' of the family, and of course, like any good rebel, I got us back to the church just moments after the service had begun. But hey, we made it; with smiles on our faces and reverence in our hearts for my beloved grandmother's place of worship. We slipped quietly as possible, (yes, we came in the door that lead into the front of the sanctuary) and walked between the pulpit and the pews to sit as close to our family members as possible. So, on the front row we went - with our backs to everyone! This was the best place to be in order to sit closest to our beloved birthday girl, so we did so respectfully and without issue. My own version of 'religion' is based in RESPECT for other's way of practice.
Once again, I have not been in this church, nor any other for that manner, in a long time, (well, except for a hand full of times for holidays, funerals, weddings, or other obligatory occasions) however, not much has changed. The same songs were still sung, in a very monotone, drab, non-emotional kind of way (I'm not judging, I'm just saying). We stood, we sat. Prayers were given after nearly every action, each time with heads bowed, eyes closed (okay, mine were not closed), and repetitive words. An insightful, yet non-emotional sermon was given. The minister somehow managed to turn scriptures, that made my mind twist into a great big question mark (as in "Huh? Say What?) and wince in pain, into something I could, sort of, understand and accept. More drone driven songs were sung and prayers 'lifted up'. Although, to me, all of this represents monotone and robotic manners that I personally cannot begin to derive anything spiritual from, the fact that my grandmother and many family members do indeed seem to get something spiritual out of it all, is all I needed. For me, this is another layer of my own version of 'religion' - OPEN MINDEDNESS.
The most impressive part of the church experience was when the minister asked for the congregation to share about people or issues to be "lifted up in prayer". Some shared announcements of joy, accomplishments and overcoming bad situations. Others of sadness, hospitalizations and defeats. Of course, they all shared in my grandmother's successful 90 years of life. Although, I don't tend to pray to any specific entity, I too 'lifted up' these in thought, sending love and light outward as part of my own version of 'religion' - CARING.Now, as someone that would consider themselves 'spiritual-but-not-religious' there are many things I do not agree with or better yet, just don't comprehend about the religion this church represents. I am very much a follower of the 'take it where you get it' belief. If you get it in a church and it works for you, great! If you get it in a temple and it works for you, great! If you get it in a yoga studio, or painting a picture, or walking on a beach, or sitting with a dying friend, or taking a community of kids much needed shoes and coats, or you get it sitting still in meditation simply breathing in this glorious life, great! The old fable of the Blind Men and the Elephant, makes sense to me. For me, as long as I am seeking the truth and am open to 'get it' where ever I can, I am practicing my own version of 'religion' - GROWTH.
I am not here to judge nor am I here to be judged. I am here to learn from and walk alongside all others. I am here to extend my own version of 'religion' - ACCEPTANCE.
So, the service came to an end, and we all began to mingle about shaking hands, hugging old friends and meeting new acquaintances that reside in this ever so small community. As I was approached by my very loving and sweet cousin she asks, "So how are you guys (a.k.a. my little family of three of rebels) doing? I mean spiritually?" My initial internal reaction is that of defense, but I quickly stopped to pause and breathe, taking in all that I know to be true. She is only asking out of love. All that she knows is that I (we) don't attend a christian church. Who am I to say she is judging me? She is simply asking a question and I shall simply, and respectfully, respond. I wish I could, in a blink, have her and all others see and understand that we are the same. That we all are doing the same thing...seeking. That we all are simply looking at 'it' from a different angle. No, I must let her be where she is, and I to be where I am. Obviously, I responded to her question with the truth, stating we are great. That my husband has his practices in what he believes, and has found peace within those practices. That I continue to seek a path to "the one", "universal love", "God", (I use these words along with hand gestures to show all around me, above and below) and take from a variety of experiences including prayer and meditation. And that my husband and I both open all experiences up to our daughter to allow her to seek her own path. That we attempt to relay a since of our own version of 'religion' to our daughter - EXPERIENCE LIFE and SEEK.She and I hugged tightly, knowing it will be some time before we see each other again, and wished each other well as we departed the church. She is one of my dearly loved older cousins and I knew I would miss her. We went our separate ways; her off to spend a delightful Sunday with her side of the family, and I off to enjoy the last few hours of my visit with my grandmother where we sat around the dining table with my aunts (or ants depending on who they were) and more cousins, telling stories of times gone by. I spoke of the lessons I learned growing up with these people, most importantly to laugh. We laughed, we shed a few tears, we consoled and we laughed a whole lot more. We nourished our bodies with great food, and fueled our souls with love. This afternoon represented a core part of my version of 'religion' - ENJOYMENT.
Now, although I am not one to put a title on myself, I guess I would fall under this article's definition of a SBNR. However, I am wise to know that my faith or spirituality relies upon learning from others, sharing my struggles and accomplishments. I agree with the article the most in the following: "It is hard work to nurture the life of faith. The road is narrow and sometimes bumpy. It is essential to have others along with us on the journey." My own version of 'religion' is not possible with out the help of others - COMMUNITY.
Enjoy the read - Good news about the 'spiritual not religious'
