Self Induced Boredom

This is a very ugly place to be.

The head. The commitee. The Itty Bitty Biddie Commitee is having a field trip.

For some reason I decided this week to intentially place myself in a place of perpetual laziness which has led to sheer boredom. That ugly feeling of wanting to jump out of one's skin has creeped up. That comes along with the Gotta Stir Some Shit Up Witch. (Hey, what a great halloween costume idea! -- boredom can also lead to creativity.)

Okay, this post is about NOTHING and EVERYTHING at the same time.

I am really pissed!

Pissed - Yes. Mad. Angry. Hurt. Upset.

AARrrggggghhhhhh!!!!!!

I am coming here to vent. If I don't I am afraid I may say things to someone that I am really going to regret. That is never good, so I am screaming on the Internet instead.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

Does that make me feel better? No not really, but hey, if I did it in my office right now they might send someone to escort me out of the building.

Those of you that pray -- pray for me to receive the serenity to not hurt someone!

Those of you that meditate -- please send good vibes to me.

Those of you that see me -- give me a hug. Or something to punch - preferable soft in nature.

Who am I kidding. No one is even reading this!

This is for the birds!

Wow -- I have to say, this single motherhood crap is for the birds, especially when you are stuck in the house for three days with a sick little one. I need some adult interaction!!

My heart goes out to those mothers out there that truly have no help. You women (and men - if be the case) are true wonders of the world!

Looking forward to Daddy coming in town soon and taking a turn.

Today is a BIG Day!

WHEW!!

I just found out that I am getting the deplux that I wanted. I could not be more estatic, a little scared, but simply estatic. GOD is BIG!!!! I put one foot in front of the other, let go and the rest was taken care of for me.

My own place in more than 10 years. It is crazy. I am not going to know what to do.

WOW!!! WOW!!! WOW!!!

I have no idea of what this new life is going to bring me, but I know it will be okay.

Attitude Adjustment

Okay -- It's time for a little attidude adjustment. I don't think I have been looking at the glass half empty, but yet I think I have been looking at the glass half full -- the glass just happens to be wobbling on the edge of the table of life!!!! I think I am expecting the glass to go tumbling to the floor shattering in a million pieces and soaking everything in sight. UH-HUM -- that would be called FEAR.

Time to readjust. I REFUSE to have fear run my life again. It is unacceptable.

I am starting at this point, right now -- TODAY! I will take that glass and put it firmly in the middle of the table. Heck, I am going to place a towel under it, because I plan soon to have that glass so full that it just might even start to overflow!

Take that! God's got my back and am not about to give up now.

This hurts

I am heart-broken.


I am torn.


A part of my life is missing and is forever changed.


I will survive - this I believe


but will the pain ever be gone?


Will the guilt really go away?





This hurts.

July 1, 2009

Life is painful!

Life is good!

Here's to the first day of my new life.